We were at a hotel and Luna was not enjoying the swimming pool so she and Papa went back to the room to watch cable TV cartoons - huge treat. I stayed in the pool with Wolfie and Tulip and when I say "in the pool" I guess I mean in the pool room because I actually sat in a chair and watched them swim and play.
Then a boy showed up, Sam. He was unattended by an adult. I mean, he was 8 and there are signs everywhere in that pool room that dictate that children must be accompanied by an adult, no lifeguard on duty, no one is allowed to be in the pool alone, etc.
No biggie. Surely Sam's mom or dad or other adult would show up shortly.
No one showed up for Sam. I got the impression after about 10 minutes that Sam gets to go places by himself. At the modest age of 8, he seemed rather worldly. I mean, he had a long blond pony-tail and the beginnings of some dreadlocks.
I can be the adult for my kids and OP kids (OP is other people, by the way, whom I wrote about in a previous blog entry).
But then! I! Had! To! Poop!
Let's take a moment here to check in with reality. As much as all of you delicate mamas would like the world to think that you do not poop, you do. And you know that sometimes the urge comes on with extreme ferocity. As was the case with me in the pool. Well, pool room.
I tried to ignore it but mamas, the urge was calling to me something fierce. Like I started to get chills and my shins were getting kind of shaky. I was shifting around in my pool side chair like crazy.
So what do I do? I tell all the kids to get out of the pool and sit together at a table and talk because I have to go to the bathroom and children are not allowed to be in the pool without an adult.
There. The truth.
And then comes the moment of truth when you attempt the first negotiation with an OP kid who has unintentionally become your charge.
"Well, I can go in the pool by myself." Really, Sam? "Really, I can." Because he is reading my mind.
Moment of truth. Truth is, I'm a mom. And even an OP kid has got to recognize that. And the truth makes sense to all kids, OP or you own.
"Well, Sam, my kids are definitely not allowed to go in the pool without me here. And even though you're probably a better swimmer than both of them, I would like you to join them at this table while I'm in the bathroom."
More truth, a little flattery, and a truth conclusion.
"Well, you're probably right," says Sam.
Thanks, OP kid.