Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Got it, thanks

We went to the beach Sunday and as you know, it was really really hot.  The sand - oh man - the sand was so hot. 

We were walking down the steps onto the beach and I was holding hands with Luna.  There is a sitting area at the top of the stairs where we usually park the stroller and our shoes but today we wore our sandals up until the moment we set down our towels.  Luna and I were making our way down the beach and a woman, a complete stranger to me, coming up from the beach said to me, "The sand is really hot.  You should carry her - the sand could get in her shoes. The sand is really hot."

Okay, number 1: the sand was already getting in my shoes and yes, I could tell, all by myself, that it was really really hot.
Number 2: we had already taken about 12 steps through the sand; hence number one.
Number 3: my child is perfectly capable of saying something along the lines of, "Ouchie!  Ouchie!  Too hot!  Carry me!"
Number 4: Luna was fine.  She was smiling.  She was wearing closed-toe mary janes and was doing nothing at all mentioned in number 3.

So it made me wonder why people feel the need to...um...offer advice to mothers.  Mothers with children; multiple children.  Mothers who perform motherly duties 24/7 such as paying attention to whether their children are getting burned, appear extremely uncomfortable, or carry them to offer any sort of aid they might need.

I mean, really, what is that?  I don't mean for this to be a rant against well-meaning advice givers but it is a gray area.  Was it really advice?  Some might call it meddling.  Or just being annoying.  Whatever.

But it made me wonder if I do that?  I don't think I do.  I don't think I verbally tell strangers who appear to be mothers what to do with their children.  In my head I might.  But I don't think I have ever said out loud, "You should..."  Have I?  I am going to be much more conscious of this because I do admit, I talk to strangers.  I talk to mothers. 

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