Tuesday, August 9, 2011

can you hear it?

When we had Wolfie, we lived in Chicago.  Logan Square, on the square.  I often said I could shoot a rubber band and hit the monument from our rooftop deck.  City living is noisy.  There is constant ambient noise.  Mostly street traffic.  But living spaces in the city are small and there is a lot of noise inside too.  Loud furnaces.  You can hear your neighbors.  Everyone plays their music loud to drown out everyone else's music.

We lived in a 4 room condo.  The furnace was smack in the middle of the place.  No matter where I was, if the baby was in another room there was ambient noise interference.  And no matter where I was, I thought I could hear the baby crying.  But he would not be.  It was almost always the furnace.  Or the exhaust fan in the bathroom.  Or just the sound of the shower.  I thought I heard the baby crying when he wasn't crying at all...just a few feet away.

Do you know what I'm talking about?  Maybe there is a term for it.

How many times did I turn off the shower, crane my ear toward to open bathroom door to hear...nothing.  Nope.  That wasn't the baby crying after all.

This phenomenon continues.

This afternoon the girls were napping.  The boys are gone (riding trains in Chicago, ironically).  I sat outside.  It was gorgeous today, right?  And breezy.  And you know I ran inside three times thinking I heard crying.  Each time I looked in the girls bedroom and found them sound asleep.  Not even stirring.  Making no noise but I swore I heard my baby crying.  My 2 and 4 year old baby girls that are completely capable of getting out of their beds to come find me if there was a problem.  Maybe the wind carried some other baby noises to my backyard.  Maybe it's some ear trick that happens to very tired mothers.

Maybe I just miss them.


  1. Sweet June. I lived in Ravenswood...jsut there a week or two ago for a visit & LOVED all the noise. I too hear the Babe all the time, well not really since it is rarely her. We pause the movie about three times to do a babe check...funny huh?

  2. Happens to me, too! In the brief interims when we had no baby between us in the bed, also have woken up on top of Joe in a sheer panic looking for "the baby." Our children have a deep conscious and unconscious grip on us, don't they? I've been reading and enjoying your posts!

  3. Before kids, it was the phone. And looking back I think I thought it was ringing because I wanted it to ring. (and probably wanted it to be a boy on the other end) And with babies- I can't imagine I ever wanted my babies to cry- especially when they are so quiet and napping finally- but maybe subconsciously I do want to hear them calling for me, it's a comfort zone? A knowing they need me? I don't know. That's the best I've got!


  4. Even with a baby monitor, I still find myself checking in on Eden or checking the baby monitor, because it could not be working, right?


    Momma's ears are always working...even when they should be relaxing.